Musical Memories?

So here lately, I have been listening to a lot of music. I used to do so all the time. Somehow, over the last few years, I have drifted away from it. I didn't even think about as to why I don't listen to it anymore. My husband would come home, and play a song that he heard at work, that he though I would like. Other than that, I didn't play it much at home.

When I say I used to all the time, I mean there would ALWAYS be music playing. In the house, in the shop, in the car.

While listening the last few days, and scrolling through some old playlists, I quickly started to realize why I don't listen as much anymore. Musical memories. This shouldn't change how I feel about music. I've let it do just that though.

As the old saying (or song) goes. "Ain't it funny how a melody can bring back a memory? Take you to another place and time." This is sooooooo very true. You could be sitting there happy as can be, and when that certain song comes on, your mood can shift so very quickly.

As anyone I am sure, I have those songs that instantly perk me up. Wake me up. Make me want to dance and play. Put a smile on my face. Make me laugh when I think about something that happened associated to that song. However, I also have those songs that can instantly piss me off. Put me in a horrible mood. Make me cry. Songs we've heard in the past, during any kind of event, will almost always make us thing of said event when they play.

For instance. I have one particular song, that I cannot for the life of me remember the name of, or most of the lyrics to. A boyfriend sent me the song on a tape when I was away at Military school my freshman year. He sent it because he missed me, and because our best friend had passed away while I was gone. I will forever recognize that song when/if it plays on the radio. As soon as the melody starts playing, before any words are out, I will think of Robert and Nicole. I will miss them, and feel bad that I was not there for Nicole's funeral.

I remember songs that played at parties in high school. Or shortly there after. Songs that make me think of my friends who I don't get to see or talk to near as much. Or some of the stupid stupid stupid crap we did growing up, LOL.

I have at least 2 dozen songs, that when I hear them, make me laugh and smile. Songs that when they would come on the radio in the car, my kids would BELT out like never before. The whole car would instantly be filled with my beautiful children's voices and be upbeat and happy. I can always hear their voices even if they aren't with me when those songs come on the radio. When they are with me, they STILL belt them out. Years later. Songs that were their 'first' song they ever sang. Ones they knew ever word to, and I would catch them singing with no radio while they were cleaning their room or playing. I will never forget those songs, and I will always associate them with my children. Until the day I die.

Then there are those songs that remind me of my exes. Good times and bad. The songs that make you think 'what if?'. What if you had done things differently? What if you hadn't done something? What if they had done things differently, or not done something they did? Would things be different or would they be the same? What if they hadn't taken a certain job? Or what if they had taken that job? If something wouldn't have happened, would you be where you are today? Would you have what you have today? What if you had never met them?

There are also those songs that remind you of the fantastic times. When my current spouse and I met, we were playing a game called Second Life. We would go to clubs in world, and dance. There are so many songs that I associate with him and I. Some make me shake my head and think 'what the hell?!' Others make me laugh and smile. Some of those make me think 'what if?' as well. I remember the songs we listened to as we traveled from state to state, unsure of what was going to happen next, or where we would end up. I remember the songs that were playing on the radio when we sold the house and had the music playing in the background. I remember the first song we ever danced to. The songs we listened to coming here to Kansas.

Every song I ever knew has some kind of memory tied to it. At one point in my life, I refused to listen to certain songs because of that. Then I figured, Why?? I mean really. That is a part of my life! The good and the bad. You can't change the past. You can only remember or forget it. Why would you want to forget something that made you who you are today? Yes it might be painful, however, YOU MADE IT THROUGH. If you hear that song, you should be proud! Be proud that you made it through that painful time. Or that you have a memory of that great time. I have tons and tons and tons of songs in my music library. Each one has some kind of memory, big or small, that made me who I am today. In the years to come, I plan to add more to my 'Memory Library'.

It's all a part of who we are. Who we've been, and who we will become. I've learned to cherish it, even if it isn't the most pleasant memory.